Leaving Las Vegas

I tried to remember how long it had been since I was last in Las Vegas and it seemed like 10 or 15 years but then it struck me that just last year we had stopped to visit Chris’ son on our way north. We didn’t go to the “Strip” then so it didn’t feel like we were even in Las Vegas. This year is different. Sterling has moved to Portland and our main objective in stopping here was to pick up some of Chris’ belongings from a storage unit.

Las Vegas, to me, has always seemed like Disneyland for adults (not grown ups) and it was surprising to learn that Chris had been here numerous times without taking in the attractions. He doesn’t gamble much, he hasn’t wandered the Strip looking at the amazing hotels and casinos, and he never attended a single show. OK. This was going to change. I’ve only been here a few times but I’d always enjoyed the stimulation overload that you get from the excess that abounds. What I didn’t realize was how much things have changed since I was last here.

Chris had never attended a single Vegas show so I set out to change that. The shows are very, very expensive but they are the best part of being here. I made reservations for us to see Ka (one of the numerous Cirque du Soleil shows that are always here), Defending The Caveman (a one man comedy show) and The Tournament of the Kings (the dinner show at the Excalibur). They were all very good but KA was the best of the best and blew us away. Chris has devoted an entire blog entry to this show. Not only was it the first Las Vegas show he had seen, but was the first Cirque du Soleil show as well.

On previous visits I’d enjoyed wandering through here the incredible hotels/casinos here and I wanted to see some of the new ones. We really didn’t have time for that but we did peruse the MGM Grand, the Excalibur, the Luxor, the Mandalay Bay and New York, New York all of which were new to Chris.

Things have changed a lot since I was last here and one of the biggest is in the gaming arena. I’m not much of a gambler but I used to enjoy playing the slots or a bit of blackjack (at a table with a low bid minimum). Not so much now. The new slot machines are like video games and really not much fun. No one is wandering around with plastic cups full of nickels or quarters as the machines now only take paper money, printed tickets or pre-paid cards. There is no “one armed bandit” feel to them anymore. Now you just push a button to roll the electronic dials. Instead of the sound of coins falling into the metal tray there are electronic noises emanating from everywhere. Even worse, you are invited to play an unlimited number of lines (each one costs a “coin”) so you can lose a dollar in a nickel slot with one quick punch of the button. Chris and I played a couple nickel machines and lost about $5 each in under 2 minutes. Onward to the Blackjack tables. Alas…there aren’t any! Well…that’s not entirely true. There are a few, but very few. Most of the games now seem to be of the oriental persuasion (Pai Gow being the only one I can remember how to spell) which I wouldn’t have a clue how to play. I saw a few Blackjack tables of Blackjack but the minimum bet was $10 which, quite honestly, is more than I want to spend. In the “old days” I could sit down to play Blackjack with a $20 bill and, win or lose, have had a great time for hours. Am I getting old or is it just that since my disposable income is greatly reduced these days I am more conservative in how I spend it? Something about plunking down $10, $20 or $50 (or more) per bet just seems excessive.

Food & drink aren’t the same, either. Does anyone besides me remember when you could go to all-you-can-eat buffets with fabulous food any time of the day or night for under $10? Those days are gone boys & girls. Now, all the casinos are filled with high end restaurants with world famous chefs and exorbitant prices. Following the KA show at the MGM, Chris & I wanted a late dinner. We wandered around perusing the menus until we located an Italian place that had entrees under $40. The food was very good though, as the waiter had forewarned us, the portions were quite small. Still, it was enough to fill us up and the butter in the sauces could bring on a cardiac arrest in the best of bodies. We soon realized how the place managed to keep their meals affordable. They had an 8 page wine list and the prices were through the roof. The cheapest bottle on the menu was a Rex Hill Cabernet for $65. That’s right friends & neighbors…sixty-five dollars! This is a wine that sells for under $15 in the local Safeway. After the shock settled a bit we decided on the cheapest Sauvignon Blanc on the menu at $12 per glass. Lest you think this incredible scalping is just in the high end restaurants, yesterday, while we were waiting to see Defending the Caveman, we decided to have a quick drink at a bar on the gaming floor. Chris had a bottle of beer (and, by the way, it is rare to find any beer other than Budwiser, Miller or Coors…the bottom of the beer barrel as far as we are concerned) and I had a glass of very bad Chardonnay. The bill? Sixteen dollars!

One thing about Vegas that remains the same is the people watching. Oh my gosh…the things you see! Skirts (with nothing underneath) that almost (but not quite) cover important female parts…stilt shoes that look like they came from a dominatrix’ wardrobe…breasts that are only a deep breath away from escaping their confinement…hair styles and make up to put a drag queen to shame. And these are the guests. These women are clearly looking for a little action. The men, on the other hand, have come to drink…and drink…and drink. Everywhere are men carrying 3 ft tall glasses of foo foo drinks and wearing t-shirts to advertise either their lack of class or where they last shopped. Is it any wonder there are oxygen bars and mechanical massages available everywhere?

Vegas is nothing if not excess. I guess that is why people come here. To escape their mundane existence and be whoever they want for a few hours. This weekend was the 4^th of July and there must have been a million people here to “celebrate”. It was an eye-opening experience but I was always happy to return to our little portable house where there were no flashing lights, no cacophony and no wall of people to negotiate to get to the restroom. I really did enjoy coming here for a couple days of grown-up play in the past but from now on I think I’ll just keep driving. Maybe I’m just getting old. Maybe I’ve just found a better way to have a good time.